QPR: A Simple, Life-Saving Approach to Suicide Prevention
A Therapist’s Educational Guide
Most people want to help when someone they care about is struggling, but they often feel unsure, afraid to say the wrong thing, or overwhelmed by the seriousness of the moment. QPR-a widely used, research-supported suicide-prevention approach-offers a simple way to respond when someone might be thinking about suicide.
QPR stands for Question, Persuade, and Refer. It’s not therapy and it’s not meant to replace professional help. Instead, it’s a practical, accessible set of skills that any person can use to support someone in crisis.
Think of it as CPR for mental health: You don’t need to be a clinician-you just need to be willing, present, and able to take a few clear steps.
Why QPR Matters
Many people in suicidal distress don’t actually want to end their life-they want an end to the pain they’re carrying. QPR helps us slow down, stay with them emotionally, and guide them toward safety.
It also confronts a common myth: Asking about suicide does not “put the idea in someone’s head.” Studies consistently show that asking directly can reduce distress and open a path toward help.
1. Question
This first step is simple, but it requires courage and presence.
You might notice changes like withdrawal, hopelessness, dramatic mood shifts, giving away personal items, or conversations that feel unusually final. QPR teaches you to name what you see and ask directly:
- “I’ve noticed you seem overwhelmed lately. Are you thinking about suicide?”
- “Are you struggling with thoughts of hurting yourself?”
Direct, compassionate questions do two things: 1)They communicate care, and 2) they reduce the loneliness and shame that often surround suicidal thoughts.
If the answer is yes: Stay calm. Listen. Let them talk. You don’t have to fix anything in that moment-your presence is the intervention.
2. Persuade
Persuasion in QPR is not about pressure. It’s about gently encouraging the person to stay safe for now and to talk with someone who can help.
You might say:
- “I want you to live. Will you let me help you get support?”
- “Would you be willing to talk with a crisis counselor or therapist?”
- “You’re not alone. Can we reach out together?”
Your goal is not to convince them that life is perfect-just to help them agree to the next step toward safety.
3. Refer
Once someone says “yes” to help, your next step is connecting them to appropriate support.
This may include:
- A crisis hotline
- A therapist
- A trusted family member
- A hospital emergency department
- 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
If the danger feels immediate or the person cannot commit to safety, call 911 or 988-and stay with them if possible.
Referral is about handing the person off to real, sustained help-not carrying the whole weight yourself.
Why “Ordinary People” Play an Extraordinary Role
Most people who receive lifesaving help never walk into a therapy office first. They talk to a partner, friend, roommate, sibling, coworker, or neighbor-the “first responder” in their personal life.
QPR empowers everyday people to:
- Recognize signs of distress
- Ask the hard questions
- Offer calm, grounded presence
- Connect someone to professional support
You don’t need perfect words.
You don’t need to be a mental health expert.
You just need to be willing to ask, listen, and stay with the moment.
A Note for Loved Ones
If you’ve ever been the person someone turns to in crisis, you know these moments can be emotionally intense. QPR is not just a tool for the person at risk-it’s a way to help you feel steadier, clearer, and more confident during something that can feel terrifying.
And if you’ve lost someone to suicide, QPR training often brings a sense of meaning: turning pain into preventable action.
If You or Someone You Care About Is Struggling
- Call or text 988 in the U.S.
- The Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741
- If someone is in immediate danger, call 911
And if you want training, QPR courses are widely available in communities, schools, faith settings, and workplaces.