Many men and women believe that being hard on themselves is what drives them to succeed. You may even hear that “tough love” is the only way to grow. But what if your inner critic is doing more harm than good? As a therapist who works often with men facing negative self-talk, I see how self-criticism can become a constant...[ read more ]
Life can have us feel scattered, reactive, or stuck on autopilot. In those moments, it's easy to lose sight of what truly matters. One of the most powerful ways therapy can help is by reconnecting you to your core values-the deep beliefs that give your life meaning and direction. As Susan David, author of Emotional Agility, writes: "Values are the compass that keeps...[ read more ]
We all carry deep-seated beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world. Some are helpful, giving us confidence or safety. Others—often formed early in life—can quietly shape how we think, feel, and act in ways that keep us stuck. In therapy, these are called schemas or core beliefs. Schemas are like mental shortcuts. They help us organize experiences, but when they’re rooted in painful...[ read more ]
High-functioning anxiety can be hard to spot from the outside. People who live with it often look like they're thriving. They are the ones who get things done, keep everything organized, and often appear calm and competent in their lives. But beneath the surface, there's often a very different story unfolding. For many professionals-especially men who feel pressure to perform...[ read more ]
For many people-especially high-achieving professionals-the idea of looking back at childhood brings up mixed feelings. You might worry it's about pointing fingers, blaming your parents, or dredging up old stories that no longer matter. Maybe you've even told yourself, What's the point? I can't change the past. But here's the thing: therapy that explores your past isn't about blame-it's about understanding....[ read more ]
When most people think about intelligence, they picture IQ scores, logic, or problem-solving. But emotional intelligence-the ability to name, understand, and express your emotions effectively-can be just as important. Especially when it comes to your relationships, mental health, and personal growth. And if you're in therapy (or considering it), emotional intelligence is often the skill that turns insight into real change....[ read more ]
"Man up." It's a phrase loaded with meaning-one that most men have heard since childhood. Behind it is a cultural script about how men are supposed to handle life: be strong, be silent, handle it alone while being there for others. As a therapist who works with men, I've sat with many who have internalized this message so deeply that they no...[ read more ]
Some men are raised to be kind, supportive, and emotionally attuned. They're the ones who notice when others are uncomfortable, who pick up on tension in the room, who try to fix what feels broken in their relationships. At first glance, this might seem ideal-what partner wouldn't want someone emotionally aware and caring? But under the surface, these good traits...[ read more ]
You're the kind of guy who doesn't want to cause problems. You've probably been told you're thoughtful, a good listener, maybe even "the calm one" in the relationship. You try to keep things peaceful and avoid being a burden. You don't ask for much. But lately, something feels off. You feel disconnected. You're not sure how to bring it up....[ read more ]
Anger gets a bad reputation. It's loud, explosive, sometimes destructive. But underneath the surface, anger is often a cover-a shield protecting more vulnerable emotions men rarely feel safe to name. As a therapist, I meet a lot of men who don't come in saying "I feel sad" or "I feel hurt." They say: "I'm angry all the time. I'm snapping...[ read more ]