For many people, the holidays aren't just about food, travel, or catching up. They're about stepping back into roles we learned long ago-roles we didn't necessarily choose. Maybe you're the one who's supposed to be "doing great," the one who keeps the peace, the one who never says no, or the one who stays quiet so things don't get tense....[ read more ]
Gratitude is good for us-most of the time. But especially around the holidays, gratitude can become something else: pressured, polished, and performative. Many people feel the expectation to "be thankful," even when their body and emotions say something entirely different. As a therapist, I often see how forced gratitude drifts into toxic positivity-the belief that we should feel good no matter what. But...[ read more ]
Many men say they want to be more emotionally open- and when they try, it doesn't always go well. They risk a moment of honesty, only to see their vulnerability land with discomfort, confusion, or even withdrawal from the person they most hoped would understand. That moment-when one person reaches out and the other flinches-is often not about a lack...[ read more ]
Many people first reach out for therapy when something feels unbearable—a relationship breaks down, work becomes unmanageable, or anxiety makes it hard to focus. In those moments, therapy can be a lifeline. But what many men don’t realize is that therapy doesn’t have to stop when the crisis does. In fact, some of the most meaningful work begins once the...[ read more ]
Most of us grow up hearing that strength means staying in control. Keep it together. Don't let them see you sweat. Push through. And yet, when life hits hard - when you feel anxious, disconnected, or weighed down - your body often knows it before your mind can catch up. The tightness in your chest, the clenched jaw, the restless...[ read more ]
You've probably noticed this before: something hits you hard - anger, sadness, fear - and it lingers for hours. Sometimes all day. Other times, it sneaks back in days later when you thought you were past it. Emotions can feel relentless, unpredictable, and stronger than you'd like them to be. But here's the truth: emotions themselves are actually short-lived. Neuroscientist...[ read more ]
You might not think of yourself as angry. You just shut down. You go quiet, go inside, try to keep the peace-or stay out of the mess altogether. From the outside, it probably looks like you're calm and composed. But inside, it might feel like the lights have dimmed. You're not mad, exactly… you just don't feel much of anything. If that...[ read more ]
Many men and women believe that being hard on themselves is what drives them to succeed. You may even hear that “tough love” is the only way to grow. But what if your inner critic is doing more harm than good? As a therapist who works often with men facing negative self-talk, I see how self-criticism can become a constant...[ read more ]
Life can have us feel scattered, reactive, or stuck on autopilot. In those moments, it's easy to lose sight of what truly matters. One of the most powerful ways therapy can help is by reconnecting you to your core values-the deep beliefs that give your life meaning and direction. As Susan David, author of Emotional Agility, writes: "Values are the compass that keeps...[ read more ]
We all carry deep-seated beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world. Some are helpful, giving us confidence or safety. Others—often formed early in life—can quietly shape how we think, feel, and act in ways that keep us stuck. In therapy, these are called schemas or core beliefs. Schemas are like mental shortcuts. They help us organize experiences, but when they’re rooted in painful...[ read more ]