
You’ve started therapy, and even though your therapist told you that change happens slowly, you’re wondering when you’re actually going to feel better. Maybe things were improving for a time, and your sessions felt cathartic, and you developed new insights. Perhaps your progress led to a place where your issues feel stable, but now your sessions are boring, and you feel that you’re just going through the motions. “Progress in therapy isn’t linear.” This is a phrase that many of us have heard from our therapists. It seems simple enough to wrap our heads around, but with the inevitable plateaus and occasional setbacks in our therapy journeys, we still may find ourselves asking questions like “is this working?” or “Is this worth my time?” or even “Am I capable of change?”
With doubts like this on our minds, we may become discouraged and start to consider switching therapists or cancelling therapy altogether. It seems like a reasonable option in theory. Most people start therapy with the expectation of it having a finite endpoint. While it might be the right decision for some, ending therapy is not a decision that should be made casually, and there are several steps that one can take before they consider doing so due these feelings of stagnation or lack of progress. By considering the following suggestions, you may find renewed purpose in your sessions, or at the very least, gain the confidence to push through the feelings of not getting anywhere.
Know your goals
Therapy doesn’t typically start without a treatment plan, and treatment plans universally contain treatment goals. These goals can be a reduction in symptoms of anxiety disorders and depression, or for more specific types of counselling like couple’s counseling, they can be to reduce the frequency and severity of arguments. These goals are decided collaboratively between clients and their therapists, but over the long course of treatment, we might lose sight of what those goals are. Remembering your goals can help you keep sight of your progress and reassure you about your therapy. Perhaps you’ve managed the most severe of your symptoms, and you now want to transition from surviving to thriving. This requires a shift in your goals and your thinking. It is beneficial for all who receive therapy to repeatedly check in with their goals, and it might be helpful to ask your therapist to remind you of them at regular intervals if they are not doing so already.
Take action outside of therapy
Therapy can be uncomfortable, and it might be tempting to try to separate what is discussed in therapy sessions from our day-to-day lives, but as helpful as therapy can be, it is ultimately just one hour a week, if that. While this might be enough for some to see real progress, others may have to be more proactive about applying what is learned in therapy to the time spent outside of sessions. For example, our therapists may help us reframe some of our thoughts and identify certain reoccurring patterns in our emotions. While this is helpful in and of itself, we can maximize its benefit by trying reframe thoughts as they occur, or soon after. This is just one example, and your therapist may have more suggestions as to when and how to apply the lessons you learn.
Have patience
According to the American Psychological Association, 50% of people see progress in therapy after 15 to 20 sessions, which could take anywhere from 4 to 10 months depending on how often you are seeing your therapist. Moreover, complex issues may take as much 18 months before treatment goals can be reached. This isn’t to say that you should wait forever before re-evaluating your treatment goals and progress with your therapist, but it is extremely important to go into therapy with realistic expectations in regard to time frame.
Talk to your therapist
Ending with the most obvious point, there are no situations where it is a bad idea to talk to your therapist about the therapy experience itself. Remember that you are the driver in the experience, and that your therapist is there to work for and with you. While you may have sought your therapist for their expertise in mental health, you are the expert on yourself and how you feel. Your feelings about the therapy process provide vital information to your therapist about your treatment. Therapists depend on feedback and client honesty to effectively treat clients. They can help you examine your treatment goals and help you to determine ways to apply the insights from your discussions to your daily life. This is also a great way to practice your communication skills.
While therapy can’t be rushed and might take longer than one might expect, and while plateaus are normal during the process, there are a number of steps a client should take to make sure they are getting the most out of their treatment. It’s true that not every therapist is right for every person, but one should make sure they have all the information by keeping open communication with their therapist and confirming that their goals are aligned and realistic before deciding to switch or stop therapy altogether. Keeping these suggestions in mind can be helpful in getting the most out of working with any therapist.
Sources:
American Psychological Association. (2017). How long will it take for treatment to work?. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/length-treatment